This is purely for archival purposes. I’ve started tagging quotes in my journal (as seen here: http://wertle.livejournal.com/tag/quotes), and so I’m transferring my old notepad quote log to journal form.

Carry on, internet, carry on.

Scott: it takes something called “Terotacone” which i’ve never heard of! But it sounds like teratogen and will probably give us all cancer!
+15 to all stats cancer!

Brad (on Kempo): Doing katas is a lot like integral calculus…

Tim (from Australia): wow, you get cheesy dinosaur shaped pasta in tomato sauce over there??

Steph (on proofs): That’s what TI-85 calculators are for. They’re ALL the proof you need!

Steph: Any machine that lets you program pong onto it must be omnipotent.

Jeff: (startled) You bit me! …That’s kinda like makin out!

Ken: theater people—artists look at them and think, “damn, those people are crazy”

Steph: Yeah, but exams and papers are annoying. Like flies.. meddlesome flies… in my soup of life and vitality

vargr: I could never see the point of the Quarter Horse. I mean, if you’re going to own a horse, you might as well save up for the whole thing.

Steph: Jesus died so you could eat dinosaurs.

Dr. Oldham: Your entire generation is just WRONG!

J as Adam: I can’t connect with the children, I never had a little brother or sister so I just don’t know how to bring myself down to their level.
Strother: SQUAT!

Professor Moore: SHIZAAM!

Steve to Woody: You know, if you ever get tired of wrapping you can always try hip-hop.

Red Feanarth: “Save the planet – reduce waste of energy – be generally happy” ;D

DC: Whoah! Didn’t see that coming. That’s – Shoulda realized that when you said no to Harpo

Klandagi: A building does not a church make, just as standing in a garage and going vroom does not make you a car

Athauglas (on the badguy character from REBOOT): only MEGAbyte? I could detain him on a floppy disc!

(playing FFX, fighting Don Tonberry)
Carleton: Why is called “Don” Tonberry?
Lisa: It means like “boss.”
Carleton: Oh, like Don Corleone?
Lisa: Yeah.
Carleton: Huh, I always just thought his first name was Don.

Ken: don’t you just wish you could have some chocolate covered irrational fear right now? 🙂

Willr: Every friday I am obligated to eat large quantities of animal carcasses, simply because so many cannot. We must maintain the balance.
Brendan: I kill baby seals just to make up for the existence of veganism.
Ken: i kill vegans to make up for the existence of baby seals.

Bill: Spike’s dead, Johnny Carson’s dead, there’re no heroes left in the world.

Carrie: Wait, does this make you an out-tern?
Bill: Just be careful not to turn into a re-tern

Bill (on zombies in today’s schoolsystem): Using brains for food is better than using them for nothing.

Pearce: I *just* realized this, but I could be a millionaire if I stole stuff.

Bill: If you liked CO, you’ll *love* CO2!

Hanna: what do you need two Oscars for?
Marji: so my fireplace won’t be uneven!

Ken (on adware): i, for instance, would intentionally never buy a product that i saw advertised like that. it could be a fucking pill that would make me superman and give me 11 billion dollars and i wouldnt click it, out of principle

Brendan: We got caught in “light snow toward the evening” Which apparently means BLIZZARDIA ’05

Will: I have 0 tails and get up and down ladders just fine

Wheeler: I think the closest thing to a martial art I do is spyware removal

Will: I heard that there was this second degree black belt who was eating at a diner, and when some dude dropped a spoon, they killed the whole town.

Wheeler (on finding the cure for cancer): “What’s this under the couch? HOLY SHIT!”

Will: it’s like Columbine, except nobody dies

Will: What is a human but meat that hasn’t been cooked yet?